(This blog post will likely be part of a series about our family – how we do strategic planning, the foundation, and its impact.)
Years ago, when I was leading Contegix, annual strategic planning was a cornerstone of our business operations. Our executive team would spend two to three days offsite with our facilitator, mapping out our trajectory for the next three years and breaking it down into actionable plans for the coming year and each quarter. We were early adopters of EOS (Entrepreneurial Operating System), which meant our foundation rested firmly on our Mission, Vision, and Core Values. We reviewed these at every meeting, ensuring they remained at the forefront of our decision-making.
After one particularly engaging strategic planning session, I returned to the office, eager to share our progress with my mentor. I excitedly recounted the team’s engagement and our ambitious plans for the future. To my surprise, my usually responsive mentor remained uncharacteristically silent.
When I finished, he asked me two simple yet profound questions: “How does the strategic plan of Contegix align with your family’s strategic plan? Do the Mission, Vision, and Core Values align with your family’s?”
I stammered, eventually admitting that my family did not have a strategic plan.
His response was a wake-up call: “Hmm… You work 60-70 hours per week and will probably do this for 10-15 years, maybe longer. You have a strategic plan for that, but your family is 168 hours per week and for the rest of your life. So, your approach there is to wing it. Hmm… That’s neat.” His lack of subtlety was a quality I usually appreciated but not now.
Yet, the logic was undeniable and, frankly, uncomfortable. I was pouring my energy into setting up the company for success, meticulously planning for its future. Yet, for my family – the most important aspect of my life – I was operating day-by-day at worst, week-by-week at best. It was a stark realization of how we often prioritize work over family, giving our loved ones only what is left over at the end of the day.
This epiphany spurred me into action. I reached out to various people I thought might have experience in family strategic planning. I pulled agendas from couple and family weekend retreats I found online and from friends. When I shared my intention with my wife, Courtney, she displayed her characteristic trust in me – a trust that often seems proportional to how crazy the idea sounds.
Drawing from my business experience, I knew we needed to start by developing our Mission and Core Values. As Lewis Carroll wisely said, “If you do not know where you are going, any road will get you there.”
So, how did we develop our family’s Mission and Core Values?
For our Mission Statement, we took a reverse engineering approach inspired by Peter Drucker’s insight: “Show me your calendar and your bank statement, and I will show you what you really value.” As we examined these, several themes emerged:
- We found ourselves drawn to service, honoring those who paved the way for us and working to create a better tomorrow. This manifested in our volunteering efforts and our habit of quietly, confidentially paying it forward. We examined why and how we did these activities. This became: “We have a debt to those before us and an obligation to those after us.”
- We noticed how we filled the spaces in our lives with family time, learning, and self-improvement. Even in moments of intentional rest, we sought to appreciate every second. This translated to: “We maximize life and potential through heart, intelligence, and grit.”
- Our commitment to doing things together stood out. From saying “I love you” countless times a day to actively discussing any tradeoffs that might affect our family unity. This became: “We focus on our bond. We do all of this together because we are always stronger together.”
- Finally, there was our family word – “Mostest.” What started as a playful expression of love evolved into our approach to life, embodying how we tackle challenges and maximize our talents.
For our Core Values, we reflected on the behaviors, situations, and circumstances that either triggered us or brought us joy and fulfillment. This process led us to identify seven core values:
- Mostest
- Service
- Integrity in Our Relationships and Actions
- Calmness and Stillness Facilitate Happiness (aka No F***ing Drama)
- Committed Effort Over Results
- Grit
- Respect People, Time, and Talent
This journey of developing our family’s Mission and Core Values has been transformative. It has shifted our focus from merely reacting to life’s demands to proactively shaping our family’s direction and culture. In future posts, I will delve deeper into how we have implemented these principles and the impact they have had on our family life.
I learned that like business, a little strategic planning can go a long way in family life. After all, is not your family the most important organization you will ever be part of?